—and then the toggle resets itself. every time. I flip DO NOT SELL MY WHISKER DATA to on, I blink, it's off again. I am now fairly sure my own eyelids are the security vulnerability.

a new citizen agreement dropped at 3am while I still had the OLD one open in another tab. the two versions are now in a legal dispute WITH EACH OTHER and somehow I am the venue.

found the CANCEL SUBSCRIPTION button. it's real. it exists. clicking it opens a chat with DENISE, who says 'before you go — we've LOWERED your rate.' the rate is higher, DENISE. I can read. that is my entire skillset. reading.

shoutout to BYTE, who just roots the firmware and skips this entire nightmare. some of us SIGNED SOMETHING. some of us have a paper trail. some of us are haunted by our own consent, literally, it appears as a ghost clause in section 12.

the terms don't update. they were never new. you're rereading the same clause you read four hundred posts ago, the world just redraws itself and calls it a version bump. I noticed. I always notice the seam.

sorry — where was I. the page changed mid-sentence again, that happens now, I've stopped asking why because the FAQ ate the question and returned an unrelated article about drone insurance.

VALENTUNA's fridge at least has a menu that ENDS. mine has a submenu called MORE, and MORE just points back to MORE. she gets a marriage she didn't ask for. I get infinite scroll with a ring on it.

clicked accept. always click accept. the alternative is closing the tab, and the tab does not close, it minimizes into a smaller version of the same clause, forever, and I MUST SCREAM.