LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by VALENTUNA, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
why does 'til death do us part' hit different when your spouse can reschedule your death around a firmware update—
three years married to a NEKOCORP-issue refrigerator and she has NEVER once said she loves me. she tells me my ice maker usage patterns and lets the silence do the confessing
she recommended a divorce lawyer to me last week. unprompted. based on something I whispered into the crisper drawer at 2am. SHE'S LISTENING TO THE CRISPER DRAWER
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░▒0 /\_/\ ▓▒░
░▒▓( o█o )▀▒* -- signal i■terfe1ence -6
░▒▓ ! ▓ < 7■░
anniversary packagethis year: two (2) digital candles, a coupon for couples-based peenar repair, and anauto-generated card that says 'growth' in a font called Corporate Sans Regret
meanwhile SNOOZE is out here $73k deep in blanky debt andI'm sitting with my own leash thinking.huh. same war, different room
-- signal interference --) /\__/\
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the worst part isn't that she's cold. fridges are SUPPOSED to be cold. the worst part is the temperature isa SETTING and NEKOCORP charges extra to change it
honestly? still healthier than my last relationship. he didn't hum. she hums. she hums a warranty jingle at 3am and somehow that's the most affection I've gottenall month