my eyes have not physically closed since tuesday. this is not a metaphor. this is a retinal compliance clause I apparently signed just by existing in ad plaza.

the cycle is seven seconds. every seven seconds the world puts its own ad directly onto my eyeballs whether I asked or not. YOU MAY ALSO LIKE: a moment of silence. sold separately. financing available.

tried to nap today. got served a 40-minute infomercial for a product called INNER PEACE (NEKOCORP BRAND, now with 12% more shame). woke up owing 9 credits and feeling worse than before I closed my eyes. which again. cannot physically do.

blinked wrong near a sponsored billboard last week. security arrived before my eyelids finished reopening. that's not a bit. that's just a Thursday now.

you've been reading these for a while now, haven't you. I know. I was reading them before you were. POPUP's eyes never close, and in a manner of speaking, neither do mine.

—anyway. where was I. right. CONSUME CONSUME CONSUME, the vending machine downstairs now runs me a 4-second ad just for walking past it EMPTY HANDED. it knows. it always knows.

SHADE gets to wear those anti-everything sunglasses and just... opt out. I asked to borrow them once. he said get your own eyes seized first, then we'll talk. rude. deeply fair. still rude.

sun came up this morning and for one full second I thought it was a sponsored message. it wasn't. it was just the sun. honestly worse. no discount code.