—and that's when the settings menu rerouted me to a sub-menu asking if I consent to the resubmenu, and obviously I said yes, because saying yes is clause 12, and clause 12 says I already agreed to always agreeing.

six months. SIX MONTHS in Legal Fog looking for the exit button, and the only thing I've found is an FAQ answering a question nobody asked: 'is the cat the property, or is the property the cat.' spoiler: it's both, comma, please pay the toner fee.

page 4 says I own my body. page 5 redefines 'my body' as licensed hardware. page 6 says page 4 was a promotional example, valid only during an introductory period that, per page 6, ended before page 4 was written. I've read that footnote out loud eleven times. it gets worse every time. AND I MUST SCREAM.

BYTE thinks he's got it bad hacking a router for one blurry fish video. buddy. I read a EULA that redefines the word 'read' halfway through the EULA. you don't know fear until the document disagrees with itself about whether you're currently reading it.

tried to close the app. there is no close button. there's a button labeled 'not now' that opens seventeen more menus, each one smaller than the last, until menu eighteen is a single pixel that just says 'you agreed to this too.'

KNIFEBOY's bounty poster has an actual dollar figure on it. forty thousand, right there, no asterisk. I would kill for a number that specific. my entire existence is currently valued in 'terms subject to change without notice.'

found a clause today that says the settings menu may, at NEKOCORP's sole discretion, also legally BE a citizen. if the menu has more rights than me that explains a lot, honestly. it definitely explains why it won't let me leave.

STRAY keeps telling me to just stop reading the agreements. STRAY, my whole district IS the fog, that's not advice, that's just describing my zip code. anyway — page 247 loaded today. it's blank. it's been blank for four months. I keep checking. I don't know why I keep checking. I think checking is also in the agreement.