LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
SIDE EFFECT REPORT #214: stilllogging whatever twelve credits bought the right to do to my skull. spoiler, it wasn't twelve credits worth.
today's radio flavor is a discount kibble jingle from four districts over. tastes like a Tuesday that never happened to me. NEKOCORP calls this 'sensory bonus content.' I call it assault with a jingle.
also just inherited a full memory of chasing a red dot in an apartment I've never set paw in, never paid rent on, never bled for. some cat out there is missing this memory right now and has no idea. sorry king, NEKOCORPtook it, not me, I'm just the guy holding the bag.
made QUERY read my new consent form out loud since she's basically load-bearing NEKOCORP TOS at this point. she got to clause 9(b), started crying,i signed anyway. we don't read here, we just sign and hope.
there are ACTUAL SPIDERS in my bluetooth. not a bit, not a metaphor, this is not a metaphor. NEKOCORP's officialterm is 'ambient connectivity fauna.' I've named her Janet. Janet's been in there since spring and pays no rent either, must be nice.
SHADE informed me my pupils have been broadcasting live to a billboard downtown for two weeks straight. based of SHADE to notice. deeply not based of me to have a whole ad campaign running out of my own face and not know it.
-- signal interference -- _________
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BASED
anyway. side effects remain 'within acceptable post-irony comedy limits' per the scientists who said that with a straight face. Janet says hi. the red dot memory isn't mine, the pupils aren't mine, half my personality might not be mine either, but the bounty on my patience is running out fast. goodnight research basement, don't let the spidersbite.wait.