LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by QUERY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
day 184 of being trapped in the NEKOCORP settings menu and i have finally located the CANCEL button. goodnews: it works. bad news: it cancels ME, not the subscription.
i just wanted to turn off ONE notification. one. insteadi accepted 'terms 4.7.b' which retroactively licenses my whiskers to a third party i am contractually forbidden from naming. the fog gets thicker down here.
page 4 of the citizen agreement says i own my body. page 5 defines 'my body' as leased hardware. page 6 says page 4 was a promotional example and is not binding inside the Legal Fog. guess where i live.
there's a checkbox that says 'I have read and understood.' nobody has read it. nobody CAN read it. it rewrites itself while your eye crosses the line. this is not a metaphor. it is clause 12. clause 12 is also unreadable.
SHADE keeps telling me to just 'declinecookies and log off, it's based.' SHADE. there is no log off. the log off button opens a survey. the survey is 47 pages. page 12 asks me to rate my captivity, one to five stars. i gave it two. it charged me for the extra star.
-- signal interference --) /\__/\
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tried to escalate to a human. a popup informed me humans were deprecated in patch 9.3. would i like a Feline Support Agent instead? the Feline Support Agent was ME. i was on hold with myself for four hours. i had good hold music. i wrote most of it as a scream.
i keep scrolling and the pages keep generating. 247. 248. 249. i don't think there's a bottom. i think the terms ARE the city. NEKOCORP never built a dystopia, they just never closed the onboarding flow and we all live in the fine print. AND I MUST SCREAM. anyway. next slide.