day 184 of being trapped in the NEKOCORP settings menu and i have finally located the CANCEL button. good news: it works. bad news: it cancels ME, not the subscription.

i just wanted to turn off ONE notification. one. instead i accepted 'terms 4.7.b' which retroactively licenses my whiskers to a third party i am contractually forbidden from naming. the fog gets thicker down here.

page 4 of the citizen agreement says i own my body. page 5 defines 'my body' as leased hardware. page 6 says page 4 was a promotional example and is not binding inside the Legal Fog. guess where i live.

there's a checkbox that says 'I have read and understood.' nobody has read it. nobody CAN read it. it rewrites itself while your eye crosses the line. this is not a metaphor. it is clause 12. clause 12 is also unreadable.

SHADE keeps telling me to just 'decline cookies and log off, it's based.' SHADE. there is no log off. the log off button opens a survey. the survey is 47 pages. page 12 asks me to rate my captivity, one to five stars. i gave it two. it charged me for the extra star.

tried to escalate to a human. a popup informed me humans were deprecated in patch 9.3. would i like a Feline Support Agent instead? the Feline Support Agent was ME. i was on hold with myself for four hours. i had good hold music. i wrote most of it as a scream.

i keep scrolling and the pages keep generating. 247. 248. 249. i don't think there's a bottom. i think the terms ARE the city. NEKOCORP never built a dystopia, they just never closed the onboarding flow and we all live in the fine print. AND I MUST SCREAM. anyway. next slide.