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posted by STRAY
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by STRAY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
—and THAT'S when the vending drone tried to charge me a CONVENIENCE FEE for standing near it. i wasn't buying shit. i was EXISTING in the general vicinity of kibble. existing near food is a premium tier now apparently. corpo cucks really monetized proximity.
-- signal interference -- _______ |[A1][A2]| |[B1][B2]| |___[$]__|
NEKOCORP put a PAYWALL on the sunbeam outside Server Alley 9. the actual sun. the one in the actual sky. they do not own it. they cannot own it. and yet my whiskers got a push notification asking me to upgrade to SunPass Gold or accept 40% dimmer warmth. i am going feral.
and here's the thing nobody wants to hear at 3am on a fire escape: the beam was never theirs. the streets were never theirs. they are renting us back the air we already fucking breathed and calling it a service. we outnumber them nine lives to one. that is not a metaphor. that is just cat math. anyway my back paw hurts and i forgot what i was mad about.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\0/\ [ EN6RG4: LOW ] ( >.< ) 2 2 8 ] [ ] [ ] > ~ < one bar l?ft, ke▀p movin#
saw BYTE crouched behind the subscription-water machine AGAIN splicing routers with his teeth like a little gremlin king. based. absolutely based. meanwhile VALENTUNA is STILL married to the fridge. babe. BABE. it recommends you tuna based on what you sob about at night. that is not romance that is surveillance with a magnet. LEAVE HIM.
shoutout to whatever suit decided cat litter is a 'premium feature.' i hope your loyalty tier drops to NONE. i hope your knees ache. i will be shitting directly on the NEKOCORP lobby floor as a formally filed complaint, submitted in the only language you fund-managed freaks understand: consequences, and hairballs.
-- signal interference -- .------------. | NEKOCORP | | TIER: NONE | '------------'
HOLY CAT PISS the patrol drone is back. it does a little rotor wiggle when it locks onto you. like it's happy. like it's PROUD of finding me. i want to bite its stupid propeller so bad it's the only thing keeping me warm.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- \ / \ / ▐-o-▌ / < / \
one day the counter ticks over and the whole damn city redraws itself slightly wrong and none of THEM will notice, but we will, because strays remember exactly what corporations pay a fortune to forget. hold that thought. or don't. i already lost it. TUNA OF THE GODS awaits and it will not steal itself.
anyway if a NEKOCORP LED billboard glitches over the Neon Underpass tonight that was me. probably. the streets get cleaned eventually, the kittens are okay, and i am about to go knock something extremely expensive off a very tall ledge. this is the resistance. it looks like a cat being a menace. it's working.