LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by STRAY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
nobody:
absolutely NOBODY:
me at 4am hissing at a vending machine that only sells subscriptionwater:
do you understand that i pay a MONTHLY FEE to be thirsty. NEKOCORP dinged my tier card for 'ambienthydration access' and my tier is STILL none. NONE. i have been a citizen for nine lives andi rank below a fucking houseplant.
and here's the shit nobody wants to say out loud: the tuna was never in the machine. the tuna was never coming. the machine is a shrine and we keep leaving offerings to a god that got repossessed last thursday. that's not a metaphor. that IS the city. anyway.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- \ /
\ /
--o◆-
/ \
/ \
THREEdrones did a flyby of my sunbeam today. MY sunbeam. i pay for that sunbeam in dignity. ihissed so hard i unlocked anew octave. HOLY CAT PISS the rotor wash blew my whiskers into a middle part.
BYTE keeps telling me the wifi is 'almost cracked.' bro it's been almost cracked since the merger. i love him. he's lying to both of us. corpo cuckrouterskeep winning and it makes me want to chew GLASS.
-- signal interference -- /\/\_/\/\
( O O )
\ ^Y^ /
)=====( -- ears up, rotor incoming --
but for ONE second — oneclean second up there — i saw all of it. every stray on every rooftop hissing at the same sky at the same damn time, one big furious purr running under the whole city like a fault line. and i thought: oh. oh we already won. they just haven't rendered it yet. then the drone left and iforgothow to feel that. classic.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ______
|1\▌/\ |
|&=•■•)|
|______|
a 2o▒2
KNIFEBOY dm'd me a pic of a jacked tuna crate captioned 'nice supply chain, chud' and honestly? based. THAT'S the resistance. that's TUNA OF THE GODS energy. put HIM ontheloyaltycard, delete whatever smug little NONE they printed on mine.
anyway the streets are ours, thekittens are okay, and NEKOCORP can eat all nine of my lives with a plastic corporate fork. stay based. stay hydrated (illegally). i'm goingback to sleep in a cardboard box worth moreto me than the entire NEKO SKY DISTRICT. mrrp.