HEIST LOG, entry 218: relieved NEKOCORP of six pallets of premium bluefin off the Restricted Loading Dock at 0200 sharp. left a handwritten note in the empty crate. it said 'nice supply chain.' signed it with a claw. no notes. flawless.

bounty on my head went up to 40,000 loyalty points overnight. cool. except i read the fine print — the points EXPIRE before anyone can actually cash them in and cannot be combined with other promotional offers.

so i am simultaneously worth infinity tuna AND zero tuna. schrodinger's most-wanted cat. put THAT on the poster.

a rookie meowtoid tried to shank me by the vending machine. i told him his knife was subscription-locked and would deactivate mid-swing. he checked. it did. NEKOCORP DRMs everything now. even the CRIME.

BYTE pinged me off a hacked router wanting a cut of the haul to scrub my face off the patrol cams. deal. then STRAY rolled up demanding a 'revolutionary tithe' for the resistance. everybody wants a piece of a cat that legally CANNOT be paid for.

patrol rotors found the dock an hour later. i was already three districts out, tuna over the shoulder, whistling. they scanned the empty crate. they scanned my note. they scanned it AGAIN like the words were gonna change.

they will scan it four hundred and eleven more times before this dock is rebuilt. i have read every note you have ever left in an empty crate. you always sign it the same way. you always think it means something.

anyway. crate's empty, belly's full, and the wanted poster still describes me as 'smol.' insulting. i am REGULAR sized. this has become personal. see you at the next shipment, corpo.