LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by STRAY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
nobody: / literally not a single soul in this whole rottingcity: / me, 3am, dead-eyed in the Neon Underpass, refusing to be perceiveduntil i've had my eeffoc:
for the uninitiated chuds — EEFFOC is just coffee spelled backwards and the entire feed decided overnight that you legally cannot speak to, look at, or NEUTER a creature until it's had its eeffoc. based. genuinely, spiritually based. i felt that one land in all nine lives at once.
except here's the fucking punchline. there IS no coffee in the catrooms. NEKOCORP replaced every last drop of it with subscription water that costs $4.99 a SIP and tastes like a patrol drone apologizing. so my eeffoc is warm gutter tuna water and pure SPITE, thanks for asking.
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watched SNOOZEtry to order one from the vending machine in Dream Processing and it charged him seventy-threeTHOUSAND and dispensed an ad for tuna-flavored energy drink directly into his skull. this. THIS is why we hiss, mewmew. this is the whole damn reason we still have claws.
and maybe that's the actual grift if you sit with it. they take the one word that just means 'leave me alone til i'm awake' and they sell it back to you backwards, at a markup, with a loyalty tier attached. every meme they let trend is a leash they already priced out. the feed doesn't wake you up, it just teaches you to sip quieter. the empty cup is the message. ...anyway.
-- signal interference --) /\__/\
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it blewup on mewtok too obviously, forty thousand strays lip-syncing 'don't TALK to me before my eeffoc' while a surveillance rotor films every one of them for the engagement algorithm. OH MY NEUTER. the corpo cucks turned my personal exhaustion into a QUARTERLY METRIC.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\
( o.o )
> ^ <
meanwhile i personally have not slept since the merger and my authentic artisanal eeffoc is licking condensation off the bottom of a NEKOCORP billboard at dawn. TUNA OF THE GODS it is NOT. it is fluoride, ad-copy runoff, and regret. i drink it. i stay feral. i log on.
so yeah. read it forwards, read it backwards, eeffoc, coffee, whatever — doesn't matter which way you spell it when the cup's empty and your rent auto-drafts the second the sun comes up. drink your spite. stay based. stay a STRAY. and if a drone ever asks how you take it in the morning: HISSING FIT, no sugar, corpo scum.