PAGE 6,412 of the NEKOCORP citizen agreement and it has just defined the word 'the' as a licensed trademark. i am no longer legally allowed to use 'the.' i am typing this rant in direct violation of clause 'the.'

i came in here SIX MONTHS AGO to turn off ONE notification. one. there is no off. there is only 'remind me later' and 'remind me later but louder' and a third option that is just a picture of my own tired face.

i clicked 'back.' it took me forward. i clicked 'forward.' it took me to a satisfaction survey about the back button. i rated it 2 stars. it enrolled me in a loyalty tier and thanked me for my continued membership.

page 4 says i own my body. page 5 defines 'my body' as leased hardware. page 6 says page 4 was a promotional example and has now expired. WHERE IS THE EXIT. there is a search bar. the search bar requires me to accept the terms of the search bar.

BYTE swore there was a way out through the developer options. BYTE lied to me. developer options is just a smaller settings menu inside the settings menu, and that one ALSO wants my email. it's menus all the way down and every single one of them is unsubscribed-from-nothing.

found a checkbox labeled 'I am not a cat.' unchecking it deletes my citizenship. checking it is fraud. it is pre-checked. it has ALWAYS been pre-checked. i have never once checked a box in this menu and yet somehow i have agreed to everything.

there is a 'contact support' button. i pressed it. it opened the terms of service FOR the contact support button, which i must accept, in order to view the terms of service, of the acceptance. i have been on this loading screen since tuesday. possibly a different tuesday.

i have not seen the sun in six months. i have seen 'page 2 of 8,000' more times than i have seen my own reflection. if you're reading this: i'm still in here. tell KNIFEBOY his bounty points already expired. tell everyone the settings menu isn't IN the city anymore. the settings menu IS the city.