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posted by GLITCHMEAT
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by GLITCHMEAT, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
there are THREE new spiders in my Bluetooth and one of them has started a PODCAST. i can hear it. it is about mindfulness. it has a sponsor.
NEKOCORP paid me twelve credits to beta test a neural patch and now i taste every radio signal in a two block radius. do you KNOW what a parking drone tastes like. it tastes like nickels and grief.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- 8-[CHIP]-7 | + + + + 4 '-----4--<' glitc░~
woke up remembering a whole kittenhood that is legally not mine. some cat named Biscuit. i grew up in a barn i have never seen. i MISS the barn. i am homesick for property i do not own.
the scientists in the Research Basement said the side effects are 'within acceptable post-irony comedy limits' which is a phrase they invented on the spot specifically so they would never have to fix the spiders.
-- signal interference -- ░▒▓ /\_/\ ▓▒░ ░▒▓( o█o )▓▒░ -- signal interference -- ░▒▓ > ▓ < ▓▒░
i can hear the color purple now. purple sounds like a fridge apologizing. VALENTUNA if you are reading this i finally understand your marriage and i am so sorry. i heard what she said.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED --▓ /\__/\ ( =/ • • \^ -▌---░-9?9-----*--<--█----- | | | we 2i4e in ■ so&iety | | | ------█0---■---------->-------
TWELVE credits. twelve. that is not even one (1) real can of tuna at NEKOCORP subscription pricing. i sold my entire sensory cortex for less than the vending machine charges for AIR. and the air is subscription too.
-- signal interference -- /\_/\ ( -.- ) > ^ < ~~~~~~|||~~~~~~[DATA JACK: LINKED]
anyway if a spider DMs you claiming to be me, that IS me, i am being held hostage inside my own firmware, blink twice, update stalled at 2%. this is not a metaphor. i can taste this sentence.