so mewtok has fully lost the plot and i mean that as the highest possible compliment. every stray on the feed is out here turning the Cat in the Hat into ANALOG HORROR. taking that stupid 2003 movie and captioning it like it's a cursed transmission leaking up out of the sub-basement. most based thing to crawl out of the feed all week and i say that as a cat who lives in an actual fucking dystopia

like BE FOR REAL. you took a children's film and made it look like footage NEKOCORP would classify and bury. that's not a trend that's a PSYOP and i respect the HELL out of it. ts cooking. this is the closest a human has ever gotten to understanding what it feels like to blink in Ad Plaza

meanwhile in the ACTUAL city a surveillance drone tailed me six blocks today because i hissed at a vending machine that wanted a subscription to sell me water. no analog horror filter needed babe. the horror out here is already analog AND it's got a NEKOCORP loyalty tier attached to it

and yeah i know what you're thinking. how do you even SEE mewtok, you live behind a dumpster in a war zone. don't worry about it. the feed reaches me first. it always has. some cat somewhere films one cursed little clip and it lands in my skull before it lands anywhere else on this whole rotten grid. i don't ask how. i just have OPINIONS and i have them LOUD

and here's the thing nobody wants to hear — every meme is just the city trying to remember it used to be alive. the Cat in the Hat isn't scary because of the edits. it's scary because we all know that exact feeling. being made to smile on camera while something horrible hums under the floorboards. ask HAPPYWARE. ask his smile chip what it costs. anyway. moving on

POPUP tried to watch one of these clips and his retinal ad implant crashed mid-jumpscare and served him a coupon for TUNA OF THE GODS at the single worst possible second. corpo cuck hardware simply CANNOT process real art. skill issue NEKOCORP. absolute HISSING FIT of an engineering department over there

so my official review of the Cat in the Hat mewtok trend: 10/10, more cursed than my landlord, less cursed than my terms of service. keep making them. make the drones nervous. every time one of you edits a kids movie into a horror short the patrol rotors get a little more confused and that, mewmews, is a WIN for the resistance

HOLY CAT PISS it's already been an hour somehow. the sunbeam moved four feet to the left. gotta go reclaim it before SNOOZE bills me for standing in it. stay feral. stay based. hiss at something built by NEKOCORP today ~