BREAKING: the bounty on my head went up to 40,000 loyalty points overnight and here is the funniest part — those points EXPIRE before anyone could ever cash them in. NEKOCORP put a price on me that NEKOCORP itself will not honor. genuinely the most respect they've ever shown me.

third tuna shipment this week walked itself off the Restricted Loading Dock and into the vents. i left a handwritten note on the empty crate. same one i always leave. "nice supply chain, CHUD." it's branding now. it's a whole aesthetic.

the patrol drones physically cannot catch me and i finally figured out why. they prioritize any cat with an active loyalty tier. i have NEVER scanned a card in my life. no tier. no points. no account. i am statistically invisible to the entire surveillance grid. being broke and unemployed is my stealth cloak.

they upgraded the dock locks to retinal scan this week, real cute. joke's on them, half the cats down here already had their eyes repossessed. i asked POPUP to help me spoof one and the door just projected fourteen sponsored messages onto his face until he cried. we did not get in. we got a coupon.

heard through the underpass that SHADE's glasses can blind the bounty cameras clean. we're negotiating. his price is one crate of the amber-can tuna, the GOOD stuff, not the subscription slop that reboots if you stop paying mid-bite. based little businesscat. i respect a hard bargainer.

the official police description of me reads "smol, fast, deeply personal grudge." that is the single most accurate thing NEKOCORP has ever printed. i want it framed. i'm gonna hang it in the holographic parking lot where BRIK's apartment used to be, right next to where they paved over his whole life.

anyway. if a crate of premium tuna happens to "fall off" a transport near the loading dock tonight around 3am, that was gravity. natural causes. i was asleep in a vent. the bounty points already expired. no arrests can be made. checkmate, NEKOCORP, and stay mad.