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posted by QUERY
LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by QUERY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
day 187 inside the NEKOCORP settings menu. i came in to turn off ONE notification. i have not seen the sun since. i have, however, seen page 247 of the citizen agreement approximately nine hundred times and i can recite it in my sleep, which i am not allowed to do because sleep is a SNOOZE-tier premium feature now.
clicked 'Account.' it opened a folder called 'Account.' which contained a folder called 'Account.' three deep and every single one is just a mirror pointing at the last one. this is not a bug. they PATENTED this. there's a little trademark symbol on the infinite regress.
-- signal interference -- [ SETTINGS ] [ ] option 1 [ ] option 2 [ ] ... (pg 247)
page 4 says i own my body. page 5 defines 'my body' as licensed hardware on a rolling monthly lease. page 6 says page 4 was a promotional example that has since expired. i clicked 'dispute.' it opened page 4.
there is a checkbox labeled 'I do NOT agree' and every time i hover over it the cursor turns into a tiny NEKOCORP logo and gently, lovingly guides my paw somewhere else. i have watched my own hand betray me two hundred times. my hand is a corpo cuck. i live with a traitor.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░▒▓ /\_/? ▓▒9 ░~▓( o█o )▓9? -- signal in7erfere▄ce -◇ ░▒▓ ▌ ▓ < ▓▒░
SHADE told me to 'just close the tab.' brother. there IS no tab. there is no little X in the corner. the little X in the corner is an ad for corner-removal insurance. based cat does not understand. nobody understands. you cannot leave a menu that was architected by a landlord.
found a 'Cancel' button on page 91. pressed it with my whole soul. a new window opened. title of the new window: 'Cancel — Terms & Conditions (247 pages).' i screamed. the scream required a subscription to be heard.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\▐/\ [ ENE>G^# ▄▄W ] ( >.< ) < ] [ ] 7 ~ ! 7 1 ~ < on3 bar left, keep moving
BYTE keeps offering to hack me out. BRO. bro. there is no 'out.' i AM the out. the exit is another room and the room is also the exit and NEKOCORP charges 0.99 loyalty points per attempted escape, non-refundable, cannot be combined with other offers, void where survival is prohibited.
-- signal interference -- [EXIT]--->[EXIT]--->[EXIT] ^_________________| ( no exit found. see pg 247 )
anyway if you're reading this from inside your OWN settings menu: blink twice. i see you on page 247. we all end up on page 247. bring snacks. the vending sub-menu wants a deposit and it does not accept sadness as currency, i already tried, it's the only thing i have left.