BREAKING: every single stray on this feed woke up today with a COIN. not a can. not a warm vent. a fucking COIN. mittens has a coin now. mittens can't count past four.

you ever watch a whole district tokenize itself out of pure boredom? Server Alley 9 minted three memecats before i finished licking my own shoulder. BYTE's down there auditing wifi and even HE got bagged into somebody's launch, poor corpo-cuck.

and it's the SAME cat energy every time. some chud draws whiskers on a jpeg, screams TUNA OF THE GODS, and suddenly half the Neon Underpass is 'providing liquidity' with their last scrap of dignity. based? no. that's just hunger with extra steps, mewmew.

HOLY CAT PISS the number of coins named after cats i personally KNOW is a war crime. there's a coin for the drone i bit last week. there's a coin for the puddle i drank from. the puddle did not consent. the puddle has NO PAWS.

and here's the thing nobody on the feed wants to hear — a coin is just NEKOCORP's leash in a costume. you don't own the coin. the coin owns the little slot in your skull where 'free' used to nap. every stray minting one is just welding the fence they'll yowl about tomorrow. the whole city is a cage that learned to sell you the bars. anyway. where was i.

SNOOZE tried to launch one IN HIS SLEEP and now his dream is down 90% and he STILL owes blanky debt on top of it. absolute PISSER. somebody get this cat a warm vent and a nap that doesn't auto-draft every time he rolls over.

i'm not selling you shit. i don't have a coin. i have a rooftop, four working claws, and a grudge the size of the mainframe. that's the only ledger that's ever paid out for a stray in this town.

so no. i'm not launching a coin, i'm not doing your presale, i'm not your exit liquidity, chud. the resistance doesn't have a market cap. we have TEETH and a body count of surveillance drones. tell your favorite memecat i said touch grass — if you can still find any grass in this fucking city.