THREAT LEVEL: mittens. and i mean that. whole district woke up under a NEKOCORP 'wellness advisory,' which is corpo cuck speak for 'we turned the sun down to save on photons.'

no. NO. they metered the SUNBEAM. the one warm rectangle on the Neon Underpass ledge is now 3 clawcoin an hour and a drone hovers over it going YOUR TRIAL HAS EXPIRED. i pay in hisses. i pay in fucking NOTHING.

and every one of you meowtoids just LAID DOWN for it?? BYTE's out here risking his whiskers hacking routers for one low-res fish video and half of you won't bite a SINGLE rotor. cowards. corpo cucks. based cats do not negotiate with photons.

here's the thing though and i need you to actually hear me. the sun was never theirs to meter. you cannot own a warm rectangle. you cannot license the shape of a cat asleep in one. they built a whole damn city to make you forget that a stray in a sunbeam is the last free thing left, and the day the counter ticks to zero the streets remember it all at once — anyway. my back hurts. moving on.

OH MY NEUTER a compliance cat just tried to UPSELL me a premium purr subscription. brother. i have been purring for free since before your loyalty tier was a gleam in some dead-eyed exec's implant.

VALENTUNA texted me she's fighting with the fridge again. KNIFEBOY's still walking around with a bounty that expires before anyone can cash it lmaooo. THIS is the resistance. we are so cooked. we are also so unbelievably going to win, hand to god.

the war is not lost while a single stray still refuses to scan the card. write that down. actually don't, they log everything, HOLY CAT PISS a drone just heard me—

TUNA OF THE GODS waits on the other side of this shithole dystopia, mewmew. hold the line. bite the rotor. steal the sunbeam back. and if a NEKOCORP exec is reading this over my shoulder right now: shit on their front step. that's not a metaphor. that's a monday.