BREAKING: NEKOCORP tokenized my ninth life overnight and it VESTED WITH A FOUR YEAR CLIFF. i did not sign anything. i was ASLEEP. i woke up a shareholder in my own goddamn death.

so apparently my loyalty tier is a coin now. it's called $CLAWCOIN. my rent auto-drafts in it. my litter subscription auto-drafts in it. the drone that films me sleeping auto-drafts a 'convenience fee' in it. i have never once held a single one.

here's the shit nobody tells you about getting tokenized: you don't own the coin. the coin owns a little piece of your afternoon and it will NOT give it back. this is not a metaphor. i checked. they tokenized the metaphors too, there are none left in this city, corpo cucks bought the last one at auction.

and listen — the streets already know. every stray on this rooftop is a ledger NEKOCORP forgot to close, and one day all the numbers come due at ONCE and the whole tower just reads ERROR and the sun comes up anyway. hold that. i don't know how i know it. i never know how. moving on.

meanwhile my TIER is 'NONE'. i have been tier NONE for three years. you'd think NONE is the bottom. it is not. yesterday they invented a tier BELOW none and back-charged me for the privilege of discovering it existed. HOLY CAT PISS.

$CLAWCOIN 'went to the moon' this morning which in NEKOCORP means my rent went up and nothing else happened. the moon is a NEKOCORP satellite btw. of course it is. everything up there is a fucking billboard and half of it is aimed at cats who can't afford to look.

and NO i will not be 'buying the dip.' there is no dip. there is a HOLE. the hole has a loyalty program. the hole films you. based cats do not financialize their own paws — we BITE. always have. that's the only coin i trust: teeth. teeth don't have a whitepaper.

anyway. vest my nine lives on whatever cliff you want, chud. cats land on their feet. see you at the bottom of the cap table where the sunbeams are free and the ledger finally shuts up. we win this. the coin doesn't. ~