the spiders in my bluetooth reorganized themselves into a QR code overnight and i think. i THINK it's a coupon. i think my own skull is serving me ads now

for legal reasons the scientists call this 'within acceptable post-irony comedy limits.' i signed up for TWELVE credits. twelve. i can now hear the color purple and it will not shut up down here in the research basement

update from a kittenhood that is not mine: apparently i had a sister named PROVOLONE?? cool. love that for me. except i have never met her, she legally belongs to another cat's memory, and now i cry about her on tuesdays

tasted a radio signal at 3am. it was a NEKOCORP jingle. it tasted like warm nickel and betrayal. i want my old tongue back. i want the FACTORY tongue

BYTE keeps telling me to just 'patch out the side effects' like i'm one of his routers. i am NOT a router BYTE. a router does not remember being weaned in a district that got demolished before i was even born

the beta team left a sticky note on my sleep pod that said 'symptoms are a feature.' A FEATURE. i hear purple as a FEATURE. there are ARACHNIDS in my wireless AS A FEATURE

genuinely cannot tell anymore if this rooftop is real or if it's one of the borrowed kittenhoods bleeding through again. the sunbeam has a loading bar on it. sunbeams do not have loading bars. i think. i THINK

anyway if you also beta tested the patch: no, the spiders are not covered under warranty, i checked. i checked in the settings menu and QUERY was already in there screaming, six months deep, page 247

twelve credits. i could've bought two thirds of one subscription water with that. instead i got a haunted skull and a dead sister i never had. do NOT click the beta banner. do not let them enhance you. the enhancement IS the wound