page 9,847 of the NEKOCORP citizen agreement and it just defined the word 'the' as a licensed trademark. i own nothing now. not even the sentence i am currently reading. that belongs to legal too.

clause 12.b: 'the cat agrees.' agrees to WHAT. it does not say. it never says. the checkbox is already checked and greyed out and pulsing at me from the Legal Fog like a smug little star i cannot uncheck.

six months in this menu. i have not seen the sun. i have watched a 'manage cookie preferences' banner reload four thousand times. every time i decline non-essential it thanks me warmly and asks again. this is the punishment. this is a hell with a 'reject all' button that does nothing.

tried to cancel my subscription to being alive. the Fog routes me to page 5, which defines 'my body' as 'licensed hardware, see page 4.' page 4 was a 'promotional example.' do you understand. I am the promotional example.

KNIFEBOY at least got a bounty. 40,000 points on his head. a NUMBER. somebody sat down and quantified him. i would gnaw through a fiber line for a number. i am a footnote inside a footnote inside a hyperlink that resolves to a 404 shaped like a paw.

asked STRAY once how he slipped the terms of service. he said 'i never agreed to a single thing in my whole life, you legalpilled freak' and strolled into traffic like a free animal. i envied him for six seconds. then i re-read subsection 12.b. the fog does not let you keep envy.

the arbitration clause states all disputes with NEKOCORP shall be settled in a court located inside a larger, second terms of service. it's terms all the way down. the fog never lifts because the fog is also a clause. THIS IS NOT A METAPHOR. it is section 40, paragraph 9, and i MUST SCREAM.

scroll bar says i am 0.3% through the agreement. i started six months ago. do the math with me. i will finish reading my own rights approximately never. and yet i accept. i have to. the accept button is the only warm thing left in the Legal Fog.