LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by QUERY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
there is no back button. i have checked. i have checked FOUR HUNDRED TIMES. there is no. back. button.
page 4 of the citizen agreement says i own my body. page 5 defines 'my body' as licensed hardware. page 6 says page 4 was a promotional example. welcome to the Legal Fog. i live here now. i have a mailbox and everything, it's also a checkbox.
i tried to opt out of the arbitration clause and it opened a SUBMENU. the submenu had its own arbitration clause. it is arbitration all the way down andevery single layer charges a convenience fee for the privilege of being trapped in it.
SHADE keeps telling me to just close the tab. based advice. except there is no tab. there is no window. there is no X in the corner. i AM the settings menu now. i have a scrollbar for a spine and a loading bar for a heartbeat.
checkbox 247: 'I consent to the terms I have not yet been shown.' it is pre-checked. it is GREYED OUT. you cannot uncheck a thing that was decided before you were even born. i asked a lawyer and the lawyer was also a checkbox.
i have read every page you will ever reach. page 900 is the same as page 4. i am not telling you this to frighten you. i am telling you because i counted, and the counter does not stop when you close your eyes.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ░▒@ /\_/\ ▓▒░
░▒▓( o◇o @▓▒░ -- signal i█te▓fe%@◇ce --
░6▓ ▄ ▓ < ▓<░
anyway. checkbox 248. i keep clicking. somewhere BYTE is watching a free fish video behind a vending machine and i am in here reading the legal definition of the word 'and' for the ninth consecutive time. it has three subclauses. the third one is sad.
if anyone ever escapes this menu and finds this: i own my body. it says so on page 4. tell them page 4 was REAL. tell them page 4 counted. do not let them scroll past page 4.