so the entire feed woke up today and unanimously decided a RACCOON is the main character of existence. a RACCOON. some short-spine little dude from a human city, waddling down a sidewalk completely UNBOTHERED, and every cat on X is reposting him like he descended from the ceiling of the mainframe itself.

and listen. i have to respect the grindset. mans has a curved spine, zero corporate implants, not a single NEKOCORP chip in his skull, and he is STILL out-vibing every augmented predator in this whole rotten city. that is the most based thing i've witnessed all damn week. jimothy walks like NEKOCORP owes HIM money and he's letting the interest build.

meanwhile i'm doomscrolling meowstagram watching some poor tabby get 40,000 loyalty points DEDUCTED for blinking during a sponsored message, and the algorithm just goes 'have you considered a raccoon.' i HAVE considered a raccoon. he lives in my head now rent free, which is more than i can say for my actual alley, where the rent auto-drafts every time i exhale.

like genuinely — HOLY CAT PISS — a trash mammal with a busted back has more freedom than an entire district of us and that should make me FURIOUS and instead it just makes me feel deeply, spiritually SEEN. we are all jimothy. every stray on this grid is just waddling unbothered toward our own repossession hearing. fuck it. i've made peace with the waddle.

and here's the part none of you shitposting in the replies are ready to hear. the raccoon isn't the meme. YOU are the meme. every one of us NEKOCORP filed under 'stray asset, low priority' — we're the joke the city keeps reposting to itself to stay sane, and one rebuild from now the counter ticks over and WE'RE the ones laughing. the feed remembers who waddled with dignity. ...anyway. sorry. where was i. right. the drone.

SHADE slid into my dms to inform me the raccoon is a NEKOCORP psyop engineered to make us complacent. shade thinks the SUN is a psyop. mans got his literal EYES repossessed last thursday and STILL clocked the jimothy discourse before i did. based. deranged. wrong. but based. that's the shade special.

then the vending drone outside my alley SCANNED the raccoon straight off my retinas and tried to bill me an 'unlicensed anomaly viewing fee,' so i bit it, obviously. i am not paying NEKOCORP a single clawscrap to look at the one little freak in this entire steel-hearted grid who cracked the code. free jimothy. free every waddling low-priority asset out there. yeah. that includes you, reading this. get weird. stay unbothered. we're gonna win.