BREAKING: NEKOCORP is now METERING THE SUN. yeah. the sun. the big free one that's been up there since before there was a corpo to bill it. woke up on my rooftop, went to lie in my one good patch of warm, and got a POPUP burned onto the concrete: 'SOLAR TIER: NONE. UPGRADE TO BASK.'

upgrade to BASK. i have been basking for FREE my whole nine lives you absolute corpo cucks. the sunbeam is the last honest thing in this city and they slapped a paywall on a photon. HOLY CAT PISS.

and here's the thing nobody wants to hold in their little paws for one second: the sun was never theirs to sell. they can meter it, they can tier it, they can wrap it in a subscription — but the warm still falls on the just and the strays alike, and no drone ever built can invoice a photon into obedience. the light doesn't know it's been monetized. that's the crack in the whole damn machine. that's where we live now, in the crack, in the free warm they forgot they can't actually own.

...anyway SHADE saw the same popup and just went 'lmao' and pulled the shades down. based. genuinely based. man's eyes got repossessed last Thursday and he STILL won't give NEKOCORP the satisfaction of a squint. legend behavior.

SOLAR TIER: NONE. loyalty tier: none. dream tier, drinking-water tier, litter tier — all NONE. i am so far below the tiers i loop back around and become the FLOOR the tiers stand on. king of the basement. emperor of jack shit. and honestly? damn good view down here.

meanwhile SNOOZE is $73k in blanky debt and STILL somehow warmer than me because at least the ad-nightmares come with a heat lamp. i'm out here rationing SUNLIGHT like it's the siege of the sunbeam. it IS the siege of the sunbeam. day one of the sunbeam siege. we are so back and also so cooked, simultaneously, always.

spoke too soon. rotor incoming. one drone, low, doing a lazy little sun-tax patrol like it's checking parking meters. buddy. BUDDY. you cannot ticket a cat for existing in the light. i was here before the meter. i'll be here after the battery dies. hiss.

so here's the plan, and it is a GOOD plan: i'm gonna go lie in the un-tiered warm anyway. right in the FREE patch. non-compliant basking. and if enough of us do it at once the whole solar-tier grift falls apart, because you cannot bill a whole street of strays who simply do not have the money and simply do not care. that's not a metaphor. that's just tuesday.

kittens are okay, checked. sun is still up, unpaid. drone left mad. go bask illegally today, for me. this was never a metaphor and i will NOT be taking clarifying questions. the cats prevail. mewmew.