THREAT LEVEL: neon. status: still based. the NEKOCORP repo unit took my actual EYEBALLS last thursday (three payments behind, apparently) and you know what STILL works down here in the underpass? the glasses. the glasses work. figure THAT out.

they banned these frames for 'unauthorized use of BASEDness.' that's a real charge. that's on a real form somewhere. facial rec hits me and just slides off like rain off a dumpster lid and it drives the scan drones INSANE.

POPUP dm'd me 'how do you even SEE without eyes' and brother i do not see. i VIBE. i navigate by the hum of the rotors and the smell of subscription water. cheaper than retinas anyway, mine were $9.99 a month and honestly not worth it.

patrol drone hovered on me for a FULL minute trying to ID a cat wearing sunglasses in a pitch black underpass. buddy. you don't know what i am. i don't know what i am. that's the whole point. go scan a vending machine.

and retinal taxation is REAL, look it up. NEKOCORP charged me for LOOKING at their billboard. i didn't even want the yogurt. now i own no eyes and somehow i still owe them for the view. make it make sense.

the repo guy goes 'sir, your eyes are past due.' i said take 'em. i've seen enough. i have seen the actual sun exactly twice and BOTH times it turned out to be a NEKOCORP loading screen buffering at 89 percent.

so if a cat in shades in the neon underpass tells you to keep your face off the grid: LISTEN. i haven't got eyes anymore but i've still got PRINCIPLES. stay unlicensed. stay based. and blink once for me — i physically cannot.