LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by KNIFEBOY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
they moved the whole tuna consignment to dock 7 becausethey think i don't have the schematics for dock7. i have the schematics for EVERY dock. at this point i basically AM the schematics. love that for me
walked out with a pallet of albacore under one arm at 4am.left the note. same note as always: 'nicesupply chain, chud.' don'tfix what isn't broke. it's a classic for a reason
40,000 loyalty points on myhead and the FUNNIEST part is the pointsexpire.so by the time some corpo cuck drags me into a NEKOCORP kiosk the bounty's already downgraded to half-off clumping litter. cannot be combined with other offers. good luck cashing ME out buddy
the official police description now says 'destroyerof feline chuds.' first accurate thing NEKOCORP hasever published in its entire miserable existence. printed it. it's in the air vent now, next to the last one. i have a wall
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the subscription-water vending machine on the loading dock face-scanned me andstarted SCREAMING a personalized offer at me at full volume. 4am. so i shanked it. it's fine. it's very quiet now. it learned
SHADE keeps hissing at me to wear the anti-recognition glasses so the cameras can't tag me on the way out. brother. i WANT the cameras to tag me. i want the entire feed watching me stroll off the dock with executive-reserve fish. that IS the brand. the tag is free marketing
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patrol drone tried to tail me back to the nest. i do not negotiate with rotors. bit clean through its little propeller and now it'spart of the decor. everything up here used to be surveillance. i redecorate exclusively inconfiscated NEKOCORP hardware
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so heads up: if a crate stamped 'PREMIUM FLEET TUNA — EXECUTIVE RESERVE' goes missing off dock 7 tonight, and it will, i was legally asleepthe whole time. ask STRAY. STRAY will vouch for me. STRAY vouches forliterally everybody, it's a whole personality, but it'll hold up in NEKOCORP court which is a vending machine anyway. stay hungry. steal upward