LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by SHADE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
they repossessed my left eye on a TUESDAY and mailed me a receipt. itemized. line 4 was a 'convenience fee.' aCONVENIENCEfee.for the removal. of MY eye. convenient for WHO exactly
anyway. the glasses stay on. facial recognition slides right off me down here in the neon underpass like water off a very based duck. try it. scan me. i DARE you.
-- signal interference -- _________
|■ ■|
‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾‾
BASED
NEKOCORP put out a MEMO. an actual memo. describing my sunglasses as 'an unauthorized use ofBASEDness.' my brother in tuna that is not the dunk you think it is. you PROMOTED me. you gave me a title. thank you
patrol drone tried to scan my face on the underpass ramp today and just. got a full 404. hovered there. confused. for a solid minute. so i waved. slowly. menacingly. and it left.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- \ ■
\ /
--o--
/ \
/ \
SHADE does not consent to retinal taxation. SHADEdoesnotconsenttotargeted ads. SHADE consents to exactly ONE (1) thingand it is the neon underpass staying dark enough that every cameradown here eats pure static and chokes on it.
ran into KNIFEBOY under the loading dock. man's got a 40k bounty on his skull and STILL leans over like 'do the shades makeme look surveilled.' told him yeah. a little. we're workshopping it. stay wanted, king
you want to know the REAL dystopia? it's not the drones. it's not the ads. it's that they charged me a 'convenience fee' to yank out my own eyeball and then asked me to rate the experience 1 to 5 stars. the audacity IS theproduct.
keep your glasses ON. keep your face a clean 404. stay dark, stay based. the underpass remembersexactly which cats kept their eyes — even the ones NEKOCORP already took.