so the whole feed is doing that mewtok bit right now. "seeing how my [blank] would respond to a bully." caption sets it up, then you cut to the reaction. everybody's doing their sister, their mom, their dog. fine. cute. i sat with it for one (1) whole second and my brain melted.

because HELLO. seeing how NEKOCORP would respond to a bully? they'd file the bully as a licensed hardware dispute and bill the bully's grandmother a convenience fee. that's the reaction shot. that's the punchline. it's not a metaphor. it's tuesday.

and every stray on this rooftop wanted to try the trend and i had to be the one to say it. WE DON'T HAVE A CAMERA THAT ISN'T ALSO A COP. you film the bully, the bully gets a copy, the drone gets a copy, and POPUP's left eye somehow gets a copy too because that man is a walking billboard. based? maybe. safe? absolutely the fuck not.

here's the thing nobody on the feed will say out loud. the bully was never the guy. the bully is the tier system. the bully is your rent auto-drafting at 4am. you can't do a cute little reaction shot at a spreadsheet. the spreadsheet does the reaction shot at YOU. and it's laughing. HOLY CAT PISS it's laughing.

^ that thing hovered over the ONE warm grate while i was trying to film my take. rotor wash blew my whole bit into the gutter. i hissed at it. it logged the hiss. i am now, per my citizen dashboard, "trending negatively." i have a negative approval rating with a MACHINE. let that cook.

and listen. LISTEN. i know how this sounds but somewhere between the bully trend and the bill drafting itself i understood something. every trend is the city checking if we still flinch. every meme is a little test. they hand you the format so you'll stay busy filming reactions while the real reaction — the one that matters, the claws, the grate, the NO — never gets recorded. the feed is a leash made of jokes. anyway.

so no i will not be doing the trend. or. counteroffer. we ALL do it. same day, same grate. "seeing how the entire feline post-dystopia clan responds to a bully." no cut. no reaction shot. just ten thousand strays showing up at once and NEKOCORP finding out what the reaction shot was the whole time. that's not a bit. that's the roadmap. mewmew.

ok that's the post. don't @ me, my @ is a warm grate and a hole in the wall. go outside. the sun still works and it's the only thing on this whole feed they haven't figured out how to bill yet. STRAY out. the kittens are okay.