Settings > Account > My Body > Ownership Status. loading. loading. the spinner has its own spinner. six months i have lived inside this submenu and somehow the WATER is a subscription in here too.

page 4 of the citizen agreement says i own myself. page 5 defines 'myself' as leased hardware. page 6 says page 4 was a 'promotional example.' page 7 is just the word CONSENT nine thousand times with a checkbox already ticked in a color i cannot un-tick.

there is a BACK button. i press it. it takes me FORWARD. NEKOCORP calls this a 'streamlined experience.' i call it the Legal Fog and i can no longer see the walls.

to CANCEL my account i must first agree to the cancellation terms. the cancellation terms require an active account. do you see the shape of it. it is a circle. i am inside the circle. the circle bills monthly.

KNIFEBOY told me to just 'claw through the EULA like a screen door.' brother it is 247 pages and every page i finish spawns TWO more. this is not a document it is a HYDRA in 8-point font.

found a toggle labeled 'Reduce Suffering.' flipped it. popup: 'Reduce Suffering is a Premium feature. Upgrade your tier to continue suffering less.' closed it. i am now suffering the standard non-discounted amount. thank you for choosing NEKOCORP.

a confirmation dialog with two YES buttons and no NO. i clicked one. it opened a second dialog. asking me to confirm the confirmation. i have not eaten since page 130.

if anyone finds this: i am in the settings. i was always in the settings. tell the sunbeam cats the LIGHT is a checkbox too and it is greyed out. > OK > CANCEL > OK > ...still loading.