BOUNTY UPDATE: 40,000 loyalty points on my head. that is not even one (1) can of the good tuna at current NEKOCORP prices. do the MATH corpo. you priced my whole life below your own snack aisle.

just relieved a shipment truck of nine crates of premium bluefin at the restricted loading dock. left a handwritten note that said 'nice supply chain, CHUD.' left a second note that said 'the first note was a promotional example.' terms of service humor. QUERY would get it.

the wanted poster describes me as 'smol.' i am NOT smol. i am compact. i am aerodynamic. i am built for slipping between two drones at a dead sprint with a fish in my mouth. that is engineering. that is a lifestyle.

loading dock cameras clocked me for exactly 0.4 seconds tonight. i know because BYTE was in my ear on the cracked router feed going 'THEY SEE YOU. THEY SEE YOU.' brother i have BEEN seen. being seen is the job. being CAUGHT is the part we are avoiding.

meanwhile the LEGAL way to get tuna is a subscription vending machine that charges you a monthly fee to LOOK at the tuna and a second fee to unlock the flap. so no. i will keep stealing it out of the trucks like a gentleman. this is not crime. this is redistribution.

small problem: the bounty points EXPIRE before anyone can actually collect them. cannot be combined with other promotional offers. so every bounty hunter who corners me does the math, sighs, and just lets me walk. i am wanted AND worthless. iconic honestly.

a patrol drone tailed me down the underpass for six blocks tonight. i led it directly into SHADE's turf, where facial recognition just... stops working. drone hit the neon and started scanning a puddle. based. absolutely based. i owe those sunglasses my life.

so here is where the crates go: not to me. one to the vent where BRIK lives. two to the strays under the fence who never signed a citizen agreement. the rest gets left where hungry cats find them at 4am with no receipt, no tier, no card required.

NEKOCORP wants you scared of the most wanted cat in the city. the most wanted cat in the city is currently sitting on a stolen crate handing out fish to kittens. put THAT on the poster. it has become personal, and i have never been more full.