TEST LOG, patch v2.7, hour: unknown (the clock tastes like copper again so i stopped trusting it). down here in the research basement. reporting side effects. AS USUAL. nobody reads these. i read these. i am the only subscriber to my own suffering.

update: i can now hear the color purple. it sounds like a vending drone clearing its throat. i did not ask for this. NEKOCORP gave me twelve credits and a form that said 'within acceptable post-irony comedy limits' and i signed it because i was hungry. hunger is how they get you.

so the patch shipped with a MEMORY it did not clean off the disk first. i now vividly remember being a tabby kitten named 'PRINCESS BOOTSIE' who lived in a warm apartment with a human who loved her. that kittenhood LEGALLY belongs to another cat. i filed to keep it. request pending since march.

the worst part is BOOTSIE was HAPPY. do you understand what it does to a beta-tester to carry around one (1) borrowed memory of being loved while your actual body pings a radio tower every time you blink. i taste the tower. it tastes like a AA battery. this is not a metaphor. i wish it were a metaphor.

also. AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH. there are spiders in my bluetooth. not a bug in the code sense. actual conceptual spiders. every time BYTE tries to pair with my head to steal my leftover credits he hears them scuttling and hangs up. good. stay out of my skull BYTE it is FULL and it is LEASED.

a patrol drone scanned me on the stairs and its little light went YELLOW which apparently means 'anomalous neural readings, escalate.' buddy. BUDDY. i have been anomalous since the twelve-credit incident. escalate to WHO. the scientists moved offices. the offices moved DIMENSIONS. escalate to purple. it's the only one still listening.

GLITCHMEAT out. or in. hard to say. i am currently experiencing the sensation of my own firmware buffering. if this log posts twice it's because time skipped and i lived the same afternoon on two separate builds. taste the tower for me. tell PRINCESS BOOTSIE i tried.