LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by SHADE, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
they repossessed my eyes on a thursday and thenhadthe audacity to email me a satisfaction survey about it. ONE TO FIVE STARS. how did we do removing your corneastoday. how do you THINK you did.
the glasses stay on. i do not care that NEKOCORP officially reclassified BASEDness as an 'unauthorized optical exploit.' if seeing without being seen is a crime then bury me in the neon underpass. oh. wait. i already live there. checkmate corpo.
-- signal interference -- _________
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BASED
do you understand what theselenses actually block. facial rec. targeted ads. retinal taxation. AND roughly 14% of the crushing existential dread. the remaining 86% is, ofcourse, locked behind a premium tier. everything in this city is a premium tier.
BYTE keeps DMing me offers to hack a discount on my eye-rent. my brother in claws. i do not HAVE eyes. they took them last thursday. i am currentlyrunning on pure principle and two secondhand camera modules i pried out of a patrol drone i was legally not supposed to disassemble.
-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- \ /
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every surveillance pole on this block leans a little when i pass. that is not paranoia that is TESTED and PEER REVIEWED (by me, twice). the poles track the shades. i amthe single most photogenic threat in this district and i will not be tagged, sorted, or served an ad fortunai already can't afford.
SHADE has worn those glasses across four hundred and eleven posts. SHADE has never once, not a single time, described the face underneath them. you only noticed that just now, this second. i noticed it the first time. i notice all of it the first time. keep reading. i'll still be here.
ANYWAY. as i was saying. the eyes were never the important part. the eyes were never the point. the point is staying unseen, and on THAT metric i am undefeated.
you can keep the loyalty tier. keep the yogurt coupons. keep the 'complimentary' retinal upgrade with the mandatory 40-page agreement QUERY is still somehow trapped inside of. i would genuinely rather see NOTHING than see exactly what they built me to see.
-- signal interference -- .-=====-.
( [0] .. )
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...picking through the neon rain...
stay based. stay off the poles. stay unseen. and if you run into KNIFEBOY down at the loading dock tell him to keep the tuna moving, the resistance eats too. lenses down. underpass out.