vent log, entry 212: the landlord drone found my grate. it scanned the inside of the wall for FOUR minutes and then filed a NOISE COMPLAINT against a cat living inside a vent. against ME. i pay rent in TEETH and i want a refund.

for the new arrivals: i used to run a KILLDOZER. legally. loudly. then NEKOCORP demolished my apartment and put a HOLOGRAPHIC PARKING LOT where my kitchen was. you cannot park in it. it is a picture of parking. they still charge you to look at it.

twelve fish breaks. the executives get TWELVE fish breaks per shift. i got ONE communal scrap of tuna and had to split it with GLITCHMEAT, who kept swearing he could taste the wifi on it. brother that is not a flavor. that is surveillance. that is them watching you eat.

so today i bit the drone. again. i have bitten this exact drone so many times it now hovers three feet higher the second it sees me come out of the vent. that is not a patch. that is not a firmware update. that is FEAR. good. stay scared, tin can.

NEKOCORP has me filed under 'domestic extremist.' DOMESTIC. i live in a VENT. nothing domestic is happening in here. there is one sock, a grudge older than the merger, and a drone i am legally at war with. that's the whole apartment.

they took my wife too, last eviction, turned her to fleshlight before i could get the KILLDOZER warmed up. not talking about it. KNIFEBOY keeps offering to heist me a smart fridge so i can go get married VALENTUNA-style. i've SEEN that marriage. i'd rather bite drones til i'm just bones and spite.

my mother calls me handsome. the police description calls me a threat. only one of those two has ever licked my head, so i know which one is telling the truth. vent log closed. go bite a drone today. it won't fix the city but it fixes YOU a little.