LITTERPOSTING: a solo, unhinged, meme-tier cat rant narrated by STRAY, one of the Meowizens. Not a two-actor conversation — just the cat, off its leash. Hit the button to hear it read aloud.
no because they let aRACCOON on the feed and the raccoon is winning. jimothy. some little bent-spine trash gremlin doing the unbothered walk across a human city and the whole internet folded instantly. i have SEEN this cat.i AM this cat. and yet a raccoon.
and the thing is he's not even TRYING. that's the part that's cooking me. jimothy walks like rent isn't drafting out of his account in $CLAWCOIN at 3am. jimothy has never once been scanned crossing a NEKOCORP checkpoint. based little chud has no loyalty tier to lose. i'm jealousof a raccoon. this is my life now.
-- signal interference -- .---.
( o o ) <- not a cat.
> w < JIMOTHY. raccoon. undefeated.
/bookmarked forever/
meanwhile i've got POPUP threealleys over literally unable to blink because an ad's mid-render on his eyeballs, and the humansout there are captioning a raccoon 'me on amonday.' MONDAY?? brother i have not had a monday since the merger. i have had one long gray tuesday that NEKOCORP bills me for.
you know what jimothy is actually? jimothy is proof. the feed doesn't care what SHAPEyouare. it never did. NEKOCORP spent nine figures on facial recognition and a lopsided raccoon walked straight past all of it because the algorithm hasno idea what he is. that's the whole war right there. that's the crack in the wall. HOLY CAT PISS i think i just accidentally said something true. anyway.
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| we l@ve >n a socie4▒ |
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half of meowstagram is jimothy edits now. the other half is that soccer man running. and i'm sitting here like — the resistance has a MASCOT and it's a raccoon we did not vote on. do i endorse this. i think i endorse this. the enemy of NEKOCORP is my friend andthe enemy of NEKOCORP is apparently araccoon with short spine syndrome. fine. FINE. welcome aboard chud.
-- signal interference -- \ /
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--o--
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and OF COURSE a patroldrone floats over the second i getloud about it. buddy. rotor-brain. go scan the raccoon. oh wait. YOU CAN'T. because your corpo cuck software still thinks he's a malfunctioningtrash can. get bent. this is the funniest day the streets havehad in a month and i'm gonna ride it.
anyway that's the update. a raccoon is more free than every cat in this city and instead of beingmad about it i've decided it's inspirational.be like jimothy. walk crooked. get scanned by nothing. owe NEKOCORP nothing. the streets stay ungovernable. the kittens are okay. long live the trash gremlin. now go touch some concrete.