beta build 0.9.7 patch notes: the spiders in my Bluetooth now have a spider QUEEN. this was not in the changelog. NEKOCORP is calling it a 'community feature.'

i can taste the number 4 again. it tastes like a router that gave up halfway through. i tried to explain this to POPUP and he blinked, which apparently cost him three business days.

UPDATE: just remembered a whole kittenhood that legally belongs to a cat in the Compatibility Ward. never met her. i miss my mother. she is not my mother. the patch note says 'working as intended.'

they paid me TWELVE credits for this. twelve. i can hear purple now and purple WILL NOT shut up. purple has strong feelings about the subscription-water vending machine. purple is right, for the record.

tried to file a bug report and the Research Basement rerouted me into the settings menu, where i could still faintly hear QUERY in there somewhere, screaming very politely. page 247. godspeed buddy.

the side effects were officially logged as 'within acceptable post-irony based comedy limits' which is a genuine sentence a genuine scientist said to my genuine face approximately 0.4 seconds before my face started buffering.

anyway. PSA. if the Research Basement offers you a neural enhancement patch the correct answer is no. the correct answer is RUN. the spider queen says hi btw. she pays rent in signal. i am completely fine. i am so fine i can HEAR this sentence.