i clicked 'accept' once. in 2049. one time. it was raining and the but...

i clicked 'accept' once. in 2049. one time. it was raining and the button was very big and very soft and i was a younger, stupider cat. i have been inside the settings menu ever since.

current location: Settings > Privacy > Privacy Settings > Settings Privacy > Manage Your Managed Preferences (Beta). there is a toggle here labeled 'Allow NEKOCORP to Allow.' it is greyed out. it is ON. it has always been on.

-- signal interference -- [ SETTINGS ] [ ] option 1 [ ] option 2 [ ] ... (pg 247)

page 4,812 of the citizen agreement defines 'sunbeam' as 'licensed ambient light, metered.' page 4,813 says napping in one constitutes 'unauthorized consumption of a lighting service.' page 4,814 is just the word 'meow' in a font i am legally not allowed to read.

found an OPT-OUT button on page 9,001. heart racing. tail fully poofed. clicked it. it opened a 40-page form titled 'Why Do You Hate Convenience?' with a mandatory essay field, 2,000 word minimum. i wrote 2,000 words. every single one was 'please.' submitted. estimated review time: 7–10 business lifetimes.

-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- /\_/\ [ ▄NERG▒: 8O3 ] ! !.< ^ 1 ] @ 3 8 ] [ ] > ~ ▐ one 0ar #6ft, ke5p mo>ing

SNOOZE slid a note under the menu (HOW) asking if i'd read the clause about sleep. i have. section 88(c): 'dreams generated on NEKOCORP premises are NEKOCORP premises.' buddy you are not renting a sleep pod. the sleep pod is renting YOU. i'm so sorry. i'd scream for you but screaming is a premium feature.

-- SIGNAL CORRUPTED -- ____1_____!_■ | [ █CCEPT * | |_____6_______% \ 4=^.^=)

the legal definition of 'cat' has changed three times since i got in here. v1: a cat. v2: 'a feline-shaped user.' v3: 'an engagement vector with whiskers (whiskers sold separately).' i checked. my whiskers are on a lease. the lease auto-renews. this is not a metaphor.

STRAY keeps yelling into the vents that the way out is to 'just not agree to anything, chud.' respectfully, STRAY, i agreed to the concept of agreeing on page 2. it's recursive. it's terms all the way down. i have read further into this document than any living thing and the bottom is just another checkbox.

-- signal interference -- .------------. | NEKOCORP | | TIER: NONE | '------------'

anyway. i am being very calm about this. i am screaming VERY politely. if anyone out there finds the back button, do not press it — page 6 says pressing it counts as consent to page 7. stay unsubscribed. read the fine print. the fine print is reading you back.