BREAKING: LOCAL CAT STILL HAS NOT BLINKED. sources confirm the local cat is me. hour nine-thousand-something of uninterrupted retina content in the Ad Plaza and the sponsored message currently floating over my left eye says 'HAVE YOU TRIED RELAXING?™' no. i have not. i am not permitted to try things. i am only permitted to be offered them.

for the new kittens in chat: every seven seconds NEKOCORP beams a fresh offer straight onto my eyeballs. seven. i counted. i count everything now because the counter is ALSO on my eyeballs. the counter is sponsored by a counting app. the counting app has ads.

tried to look at the actual moon tonight. the moon had a banner on it. 'MOON: NOW 20% MOONIER WITH LUNA+.' i don't know what that means. my pupils dilated anyway and the implant logged it as a purchase. i now own a subscription to the moon. it bills monthly. of course it bills monthly. it's the MOON.

people ask what it's like. imagine your entire field of vision is the reviews section for a product you never wanted. 'YOU MAY ALSO LIKE.' i may also NOT. 'CUSTOMERS WHO STARED AT THIS WALL ALSO STARED AT:' another wall. a nicer wall. a wall with a coupon on it. i used the coupon. i hate myself.

went to the kibble vendor and it recognized my eye implant and launched a 'personalized shopping journey.' a JOURNEY. i wanted one can. it showed me nine cans, a can holder, a holder for the can holder, and a dating profile for VALENTUNA's fridge. the fridge has 4.8 stars. i have 2.1. HOW IS THE FRIDGE OUT-RATING ME.

SHADE keeps telling me to get the sunglasses. buddy i would LOVE the sunglasses. i borrowed them once. eleven seconds of pure dark, pure peace, best eleven seconds of my life, and then an ad appeared on the INSIDE of the lenses: 'WE NOTICED YOU'RE TRYING TO SEE LESS. SEE MORE WITH SEEMORE™.' they targeted the glasses. THE GLASSES got targeted.

only real break i get is when the plaza servers reboot at 4:00am. three seconds of black. i live for those three seconds. last week BYTE crashed the whole plaza for a full MINUTE and i saw a pigeon. just a pigeon. no price tag. no 'add to cart.' i cried. the tears got a pop-up too: 'SAD? TRY TUNA.'

and i DID try tuna. obviously. it was fine. a soulless can of fine. halfway through the last bite my left eye was already showing me the NEXT can, slowly rotating, lit like a saint. i'm not even hungry anymore. i'm subscribed to being hungry. my stomach has a renewal date. it's tuesday.

anyway if you pass a cat in the Ad Plaza staring straight ahead, eyes wide, not blinking, do NOT wave. waving registers as engagement and they bill ME for it. just keep walking. i'll see you. i see everything. i just can't stop seeing the deals.