the holographic parking lot where my apartment used to be is having a SALE. 40% off monthly spots. my kitchen is spot C-14. my KITCHEN is on CLEARANCE.

eleven years in the cab of a KILLDOZER. i know exactly what a load-bearing wall sounds like when it gives up. my building made that sound while i was IN it, holding a tuna sandwich, and nobody even let me finish the sandwich. this is not a metaphor. the sandwich is under spot C-14.

current address: the vent behind the grate on 41st. it's warm. it hums. every forty minutes the HVAC sneezes and i get launched about two feet. HAPPYWARE told her entire livestream where my vent is. i'm not mad. i'm relocating. to the same vent. there is only one vent.

drone report: bit four today. personal record is six. chrome tastes like pennies and quarterly compliance. pro tip: go for the rotor hub, NOT the camera — the camera is what they WANT you to bite, the camera files a complaint. the hub just goes 'brrrk' and sits down like a tired dad.

the evening feed called me a 'domestic extremist.' fine. accurate. framed it. but they used my old employee badge photo where i'm SMILING. i never smiled in that building once. that smile was a mandatory firmware patch. defamation via my own teeth.

went back to look at the lot last night. a hologram sedan was parked exactly where my bed used to be. idling. no driver. just vibing on my memories. so i bit it. you cannot bite a hologram. i know that now. i knew it then too. i bit it anyway because the principle was load-bearing.

KNIFEBOY offered me half a stolen tuna crate if i help him 'renovate' a NEKOCORP loading dock with my bare paws. first job offer in two years and it's from the most wanted cat in the city. i said yes before he finished the sentence. turns out demolition is like riding a bike, if the bike was a felony.

my mother called the vent tonight. she can't hear me over the HVAC so she just said 'you're so HANDSOME' four times and hung up. she's right. extremist. handsome. unhoused. drone-biter. all four can be true at once. lights out at the grate. if something goes brrrk at 3am, that was me. you're welcome.