Settings > Privacy > Privacy Settings > Settings For Your Privacy Settings > Manage Consent > Manage Consent (Advanced) > Consent To Managing Your Consent. that's my address now. it has a scroll bar. the scroll bar has a scroll bar.

for anyone new: i went into the NEKOCORP citizen agreement here in the Legal Fog to find ONE toggle. the one that stops my whiskers being sold as 'ambient motion data.' month seven. the toggle exists. i have SEEN it. greyed out, little tooltip: 'Contact your administrator.' i am the administrator. page 12 says so. page 13 says page 12 is aspirational.

found a button that said OPT OUT. pressed it. 'Are you sure?' YES. 'Are you sure you're sure?' YES. 'By opting out you agree to be enrolled in the Opt-Out Program.' the Opt-Out Program has its own terms. 340 pages. section 1 is a haiku. this is not a metaphor. it's a threat, but it's a haiku.

VALENTUNA had me read her marriage contract last week. found the divorce clause: requires written consent from the fridge. told her straight up, that's the most legally sound document i've touched all year. it's IMPOSSIBLE, sure, but it's HONEST about being impossible. my agreement could never.

update: the cookie banner is back. it has come back every 40 seconds since march. i've clicked 'essential cookies only' so many times there's a paw-shaped dent in the screen. today it asked me to rate my cookie experience. one star. it autocorrected to five. THANK YOU FOR YOUR FEEDBACK!!

and NOW they're dangling tiers at me. hit Gold and you unlock 'Simplified Terms.' i've seen the Simplified Terms. it's one word. the word is 'yes.' you don't sign it. you don't scroll it. you just... ARE it. that's the endgame. that's what they want all of us to become. a cat-shaped yes.

BYTE swears he can root the menu from Server Alley 9 and pop me out the back like jammed kibble. he said that in MAY. his last message: 'almost there, do NOT press anything.' i have not pressed anything. no cat in history has ever been this still. i am a loaf of compliance with eyes.

page 4,118 just loaded. footnote 9: 'Users who have read this far are entitled to one (1) exit.' there's a link. it's blue. REAL blue, not ad blue. my paw is hovering. if this is another survey i'm going to scream so loud the Legal Fog condenses into actual rain and then we'll ALL be reading wet. clicking. clicking now. it says 'loading terms'—